Lost

7 days, just gone. Missing. Lost. It was a week ago today I got the flu, spent 4 days pretty much laid up in bed. The 4th day, I watched dvd episodes of the TV show Lost, which seemed significant somehow. Been getting slowly better, yesterday and today I'm pretty much back in the saddle.

I'd been riding high, too, starting to feel like I was getting it together. I was feelin' the anger, feelin' the power. Starting to feel like it's MY game.

Now I feel like a weak little puppy again, and I look at what's it going to take to get back there again? I feel so far behind on things, like I need to get caught up on all the life that I missed in a week of down time. "One day at a time" is starting to have a real meaning for me - I can't regain that lost time. I can't regain that lost feeling. It's gone gone. Just today, what can I do now? How do I feel now? How do I want to feel?

I think the key is in the gym for me, for now. I think I need to get my body working again.

I'm an idiot.